


Asra's nightmare

by SantaMalgastadora



Category: The Arcana (Visual Novel)
Genre: Angst, Dirty Talk, Dom Julian Devorak, F/M, Jealousy, Non-Consensual Voyeurism, Oral Sex, POV Asra, Possessive Behavior, Swearing, Vaginal Fingering, Vaginal Sex
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-06-21
Updated: 2019-06-21
Packaged: 2020-05-15 23:11:25
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,378
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19305769
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SantaMalgastadora/pseuds/SantaMalgastadora
Summary: Asra finds out about Apprentice and Julian's romance. A dream he has afterwards is far from pleasant.





	Asra's nightmare

**Author's Note:**

> Got myself a tumblr! I'm [santamalgastadora](https://santamalgastadora.tumblr.com/).

I should've realised there was something between them. I did see the furtive glances they gave each other. I did sense the tense atmosphere when I entered a room to find them casually minding their own business in a decent distance between each other. Then, I always explained it somehow to myself, made it look like it was nothing. Now, when I think about it, it was so obvious, and I feel like a complete idiot.

I also felt a distance growing between her and me. She didn't hold my hand when we walked anymore. She moved away too quickly when I hugged her and she was often so pensive she didn't hear me talking to her. And when I finally had her attention, I saw her blush when I mentioned him.

And Ilya couldn't hold my gaze even for a second for a while now, and I found it actually _flattering_. What an idiot!

I should've known and I think I knew but refused to acknowledge it. I pretended I didn't see or feel all of it, hoping I might be wrong. It's a shame. If I just accepted the truth, maybe it would hurt a little bit less to find them embraced in bed.

I returned to the shop late that night. I was exhausted and frustrated. I'd been trying to find a way to unlock her memories for years now and still got nothing. I wished she could at least remember how much we were in love with each other. It would be enough. I would tell her about the rest or, better, do everything with her again. I would show her all of the places she showed me, and tell her the stories she told me. I couldn't wait to kiss her like I used to; to touch and caress her, and make love to her early in the morning like many times before. I would just love to repeat all of our first times. If only she remembered… Just a little bit, just _anything._ We were so happy back then, before the damned Count and plague, and now, I couldn’t even peck her lips because we were _just friends_ , god damn it.

I came back earlier than I planned because I missed her. Yes, I'd been failing to bring our old life back but at least, I still had her now, and I missed her lovely smile and laughter, and our jokes, taunting and talks. Oh, we could talk for hours. We still could. There was nothing more I wanted right then than to just lie in bed with her and talk the night through.

I went straight to our room, quietly, not turning the lights on. It was late, the house was quiet, so I supposed she was already asleep. It was alright. I'd just lie down next to her and let her slow, deep breath lull me. It would be good, too.

I reached the last step, approached the door and opened it soundlessly. I looked into the dark room and it took me quite a while to understand what I was seeing. She was asleep like I thought. But she wasn't alone like I _should_ had thought. She was with Ilya. Now, it was so obvious. She was lying with his arm under her head, with her face in the crook of his shoulder, his cheek pressed to her forehead, and his arms wrapped around her fragile form. They were breathing steadily. They were naked. The sheets were pushed aside haphazardly and their clothes were all over the floor. The room was hot and it smelled of sex. Unwelcome images of what was happening in this room not so long ago rushed through my head, making me hot and dizzy. A shot of pain went straight through my chest, making me stumble.

I had to go. I had to run _now_.

I didn't bother to close the door or to be quiet on the stairs. I burst outside and headed to the palace. Apparently, my bed - _our_ bed - was already taken, but Nadia always had a room ready for me. I rushed through the sleeping city and past the guards, who didn't even blink on seeing me, to the palace and straight to my quarters. I shut the door behind me, threw my bag and cloak on the floor, grabbed a vase from under the window and smashed it on the far wall. I stood still, panting, listening to the noise still vibrating in the air and looking at the glass and flowers scattered across the floor, as my thoughts and emotions were catching up with my body.

I felt bad. Betrayed. Heartbroken! It hurt so much I was almost surprised I wasn’t literally bleeding. My breath hitched. Tears prickled in my eyes. How could she? Doesn't she know how much she means to me? That I dedicated my life to her? I know I've been busy and absent, and that I haven’t told her why, but didn't I take care of her? Spoil her? Pamper her? Haven’t I loved her with all my soul even if I couldn’t tell her so? Maybe I really have been focusing so much on restoring her past that I neglected the present but did she really had to… go to bed - _our_ bed! - with him?! _Him_! Of all the people in the city, why did it have to be this pathetic, miserable bastard!

The memory of them sleeping innocently in each other’s arms was as if imprinted in my mind and it burnt like acid. My hands clenched into fists on the thought of him daring to even _think_ of touching her. Oh, I should've choked the life out of him when I had him bound beneath me. I was always too gentle with him, thinking that he regretted his mistake, that he missed her, too, _poor, sad Ilyushka_ . It didn't even cross my mind that this son of a bitch would steal her from me. Now, _I_ regret I didn't kill him when I had the occasion. She wouldn't even remember him anyway.

I closed my eyes and hot tears ran down my cheeks. I sighed, my breath shaking. It was hopeless. There was nothing I could do, though I really wished I could; I’d sell my soul to make things right again and then, I wouldn’t wait a second longer to get her back and I'd never _ever_ let her go again. And I wished that this… this little _affair_ of theirs was just a one night stand; that she used him to draw my attention to her - what I would forgive her without hesitation and not even pity Ilya’s broken heart. Or that he seduced and used her - then, I would have an excuse to kill him and I would do it with sheer pleasure.

But I knew I was helpless. Though it hurt like hell to admit, I could see what there really was between them. She slept with me _exactly_ like this before everything got fucked up. And Ilya always wanted me so close but I never let him, not without satisfaction. And now they were together, and I could do nothing about it because I couldn’t hurt _her_. I laughed bitterly and kicked the glass on the floor. Now, when I was thinking about it, I might have pushed them into each other’s arms myself. What an irony! What a delightfully designed torture. It's incredible how a single thought, a simple conclusion, can make a man regret every single thing he's ever done. Just amazing. I laughed mirthlessly at my good intentions and cruelty backfiring at me.

I slumped on the bed and undressed. I was exhausted and I just wanted the damned image out of my head. I wanted to sleep and forget. I lied down, focusing on even breaths. I groaned when the memory kept re-emerging, unsettling me, but I didn't stop meditating and, after a few hours, I managed to fall asleep.

***

I was standing in our bedroom. The evening light coming through the windows was warm and orange. The bed was neatly made. The floor was clean and empty. I almost thought everything was fine; that I only dreamt about coming home late and finding the bed occupied. I smiled to myself, feeling relieved, when suddenly, the door opened and they walked right through me as if I were a ghost.

My stomach twisted. They were wrapped in a tight embrace, kissing heatedly and clawing on each other’s clothes right in front of me. Ilya's bare hands were roaming urgently over her body. He stroked her face and neck, and back and side, still going lower to grope her breast and buttock.

My face burnt with anger. "Don't you _dare_ touch her!" I shouted and stepped between them, pushing him away from her.

But my hand went through his chest like through smoke, and I lost balance and almost fell on the floor. When I turned back to them, he was sitting on the edge of the bed with her straddling his lap. They kissed as if their lives depended on it, and I could see his hands grope her bottom and thighs. She unbuttoned his shirt and pushed it off of his shoulders, and moved down to kiss his neck.

I watched them with growing fury and disgust. It was a dream, the worst nightmare, and I wanted to wake up already! But then, Ilya looked straight into my eyes from above her shoulder. And smiled.

My blood boiled. "Get your hands off of her!" I growled at him.

But he just gasped and hummed when she nibbled on his ear. He chuckled and cradled the back of her head. "Why, are you jealous, Asra?” he spoke with a hoarse voice, startling me. “Mmm… Can't blame you. Her lips are so sweet." Holding my gaze, he moved her from his ear to his mouth, and kissed her deeply, humming loudly. "And her body is just divine," he murmured between kisses, undid the belt that was holding her dress together, pushed it off of her arms and threw it in my face. It went through me as if I wasn't even there, but it hurt like a slap.

I bristled. Oh, the nerve of his. My hands were itching to wrap around his neck and free him from his sad existence.

But my eyes almost by themselves moved to her. She was naked underneath her dress. Still looking me in the eye, Ilya shamelessly touched her, and I noticed with dread that I was already getting hard from watching it.

But then, she pushed him away, filling me with hope that this nightmare will take a different turn. A second later, she deprived me of it by slipping from his lap and on the floor, between his legs. Ilya propped himself on his forearms and watched her undo his trousers.

"She's so eager, isn’t she? Oh god!" he moaned when she took his hard cock out and licked the head and the shaft thoroughly, before taking it into her mouth. "Mmm, I just love her mouth. She's a natural, don't you think, Asra?" I didn't grace him with answer to this disgusting question. My gaze seemed to be fixed to her bobbing head and my mouth went terribly dry. "Sometimes, when she's really turned on," he carried on. "she can swallow me so deep that I hit the back of her throat and close her airways, did you know that? Has she ever taken you like this? Do you miss her mouth, Asra?" he kept talking, and I was paralysed. I couldn't move, couldn't speak, not that I would make any difference. I could just watch my beautiful girl give a blowjob to _him_ and listen to his filthy talk. "Oh, Asra, you _must_ be so jealous!" he chuckled and tilted his head back, exposing his neck covered with hickeys she gave him. "Aren't you? Do tell me, how does it feel to see her naked, on her knees in front of _me_ , sucking on _my_ cock with such a delight? Mmm… You must be burning down with anger. I know I would be." He sat up, cupped her chin and gently brought her face up. "That's enough, darling. Come here to me," he cooed, and she obediently climbed back on his lap. She kissed him and then, busied herself with unbuttoning the cuffs of his shirt while he watched her breasts as he groped them. "So warm and sweet," he whispered, and I wasn't sure if it was meant for her or me. When she was done, he ripped the shirt off and pushed her off of his lap and on the bed. He spread her legs open and knelt between them, staring shamelessly at her groin.

It was outrageous. I made a step towards the bed but I stopped, when he ran his fingers between the lips of her sex, and she arched her back from the mattress and moaned. I looked at her. There was a bright blush on her lovely face, her lips were so red as she bit them; her breasts were round and firm, heaving, and hands gripped the sheets. Her eyes were set on Ilya, begging for more, and he was looking back at her, his eyes dark with lust. His neck and chest were flushed, the lean muscles of his abdomen tense and defined, and his stiff cock jutted out indecently from his trousers, unbuttoned and low on his hips. My face burnt on the sight of the two, and my cock strained against my pants. I swallowed loudly, turning Ilya’s attention to me.

“She’s so wet,” he breathed, amazed, and looked back down between her legs. With both hands, he gently parted the lips, making her mewl softly. “It’s dripping out of her. There’s so much of it,” he mused, kneading her unhurriedly. Then, without a warning, he slipped a finger inside her, making the three of us moan. “Oh, so _wet_. And loose. And you know what, Asra?” He took the finger out and looked me straight in the eye. “It’s just for me.” He put it deep in his mouth and sucked on it with a delighted purr.

My whole body clenched and my breath hitched. If it wasn’t a dream, he would be lying in a pool of his own blood already. “Ilya, you…” I hissed.

“Your beloved, little apprentice is all mine, Asra. Get over it and be nicer, would you?” he interrupted me, then turned to her. “Sweetheart, come here, please. Be good and kneel in front of me. I want him to understand.”

To my despair, she did as he said. She knelt, her back pressed flush to his front and knees spread. She was facing me now, though she still didn’t seem to know I was here with them. But I could see all of her. It was so wrong. I felt as if I were burning alive.

She brushed her hair from her neck and ear, and he dove down to kiss and lick them. His hands shot straight to her breasts, kneading and squeezing them. She tilted her head back, on his shoulder, pressing her cheek to his temple, and raised an arm to take a handful of his hair on the back of his head. Her eyes closed, her lips parted, and she was gasping in his arms, and rolling her hips slowly, rubbing his cock with her buttocks. He then moved his hand down, between her legs, and she keened, and he looked up at me with black, half-lidded eyes.

“Do you like what you see?” he asked coyly, then snickered on the look of utter outrage on my face. My fists were shaking with helpless fury. “No, I bet you don’t. But you have to face the facts. Just look at her. She belongs to _me_ . This sweet body of hers is _mine_ . _I_ get to see her naked, touch her skin, kiss her lips… I get to play with her little, lovely cunt. Ohhh…” he cooed when she let out a short, sharp moan. “Did you hear that? She just _loves_ it when I pinch her clit. Did you know that? Have you done this to her? Oh, but what does it matter… Mmm, _I_ have made her _this_ wet and hot now.” He changed his hands and brought the one which was between her legs up to her face. “Open up, sweetie,” he ordered softly and she immediately complied, letting him slip one of the wet fingers into her mouth, and sucked on it. “Aren’t you delicious, baby?” he breathed to her ear, and she moaned in answer. “That’s right. One more. Be good.” He slid another finger between her lips and slowly fucked her mouth with them. “She’s such a sweet mess when I tease her, isn’t she? I could do this for hours. Massage her soft cunt and clit, feel her leak on my fingers and tremble when I touch her _just right_ . Watch her forget herself and fall apart in my hands. Hear her moan and whimper without shame, my lovely, little _slut_. Oh, and hear her beg for more. Wanna hear it, too, Asra?” He slipped his fingers out of her mouth and wrapped his hand lightly around her neck, speaking softly to her ear. “Do you want more, sweetheart? Do you need something more?” She whimpered and nodded. “What do you need, my love? I’ll give it to you, just tell me.” He turned his head down, so she could whisper to his ear now.

“Put your fingers inside me,” she breathed urgently. “Please, Julian, please...”

Ilya hummed with a smile and chuckled softly. “Just my fingers, sweetie? Nothing more? Nothing bigger?”

She groaned, rolling her hips against him, making him chuckle again.

“That’s alright, darling. Don’t you worry. You’ll get everything you want. First, my fingers.” He reached deeper between her legs and… paused. He again looked straight at me and then, with a wicked smile, tilted her whole body back on him and reached behind her, letting me see him push two fingers up her open, red, glistening entrance.

He gasped, she moaned, and I screamed with rage.

Ilya burst out laughing, lazily pumping his fingers inside her. “Oh, Asra, don’t worry, I don’t blame you. It must be infuriating to look but cannot touch. Especially, when she feels so amazing. Have you had your fingers up her cunt? Because I just _love_ doing this to her. She’s so soft and hot inside. I love these folds covering her walls. And how she clenches around my fingers. Mmm, wonderful. Do you feel good, baby? Am I doing this right?” he asked her.

She nodded her head frantically. “It’s perfect, Julian,” she gasped.

“And now?” He pushed them deeper and spread them.

“Yes!” she screamed.

“Yes, of course, my sweet darling. I love to make you feel so good. I love to please her, Asra,” he turned back to me. “I love it what I’m able to do to her, you know? It takes a hug to make her relax. A good, slow kiss to make her melt in my arms. And when I brush my hands down her sides and hips, and press her to me, she sighs so prettily and tugs on my shirt. I let her unbutton it and touch me. I guess she likes it almost as much as I do. Oh, and if you knew how her hands clench into fists on my skin when I slide my tongue inside her open mouth. Mmm, it's just beautiful. Then, I know she’s already mine and I’ll have my way with her. It’s just a matter of time, and I like to take my time in sex. It’s her who wants it all here and now, my impatient little thing.” He pecked her cheek affectionately. “So it’s even more exciting to tease her, slowly, unhurriedly, lazily, and watch her squirm and whine, just like now." He took his fingers out of her, moved them to her clit, and put his thumb up her instead, making her tremble and gasp and groan, exactly like he said. "It’s even more spectacular when I finally give her what she wants. Oh, right,” he said as if he’d just remembered something, and gave me a mean smile. “You haven’t seen me fuck her yet.”

“I’ll kill you if you do this, Ilya!” I roared at him, though it was futile.

He ignored me. “I think you’re ready, darling. Will you lie down and spread your legs for me? Is this what you want?” he whispered into her ear, and she nodded enthusiastically and did as he told her, lying on her back, bending her legs and spreading them wide. He ogled her and bit his lip. “Marvellous,” he sighed and looked me. “isn’t she?” He got up from the bed. He unhurriedly took off his trousers, his gaze travelling down my body and stopping at my groin. He smiled obscenely. “Asra, you _are_ jealous!”

I screamed and launched my fist at his face. It went through him, of course, and I fell to my knees, feeling frustrated to the limit. My cock throbbed. My heart hurt as if it were being ripped from my chest piece by piece. I wanted it to be over. I wanted to wake up. I wanted to wake the hell up!

“I’m getting cold here, Julian,” I heard her soft, tantalising voice and my face shot up to her.

She was still on her back, her legs bent and spread invitingly. Her hand was between them, touching her clit. She looked provocatively up over my head.

“Coming right up, sweetheart!” He returned to bed and covered her with his body, leaning down and kissing her hotly, sloppily.

She wrapped her arms and legs around him and moaned into his mouth. She kissed him back loudly, touched his hair and face, and back and arms, and rolled her hips up to get some friction over her groin. “Julian, please. Darling, _please_!” she whined between kisses.

“What is it? You know you have to tell me,” he teased her with a smile.

“Oh you bastard,” she groaned and gripped his throat, pushing him an inch away. “And what is it that _you_ want?”

He chuckled darkly. “Me?” He reached down between their bodies and stuffed his cock up her channel in one smooth move.

She threw her head back and cried out the way my insides clenched and I whimpered. “I thought we had to say it first,” she whined.

“ _You_ have to, my sweetheart. I just take what I want from you, isn’t it like _this_?” he pulled out slowly and pushed back inside, emphasising the last word.

“Oh yes!” she moaned and dug her fingers into his flexed biceps.

“That’s much better, sweetie.” He pecked her lips before he gripped the headboard with one hand for purchase and set a keen, steady rhythm.

They panted and gasped and moaned, the bed squeaked, and I just watched, transfixed. This was sick, just utterly _sick_ , and I wanted to look away, I really did, but I couldn’t. I was paralysed by pain, by rage, and the shattering shock and despair of being betrayed and abandoned by the love of my life. And by being able to see it first-hand. My body just went numb and I was unable to turn my gaze away from their entwined bodies glistening with sweat; from their flushed faces, parted lips and eyes filled with lust and pleasure, and affection. I saw her hands stroking his neck and arms, and clutching his back and sides; her firm thighs spread wide to give him room and take him deep. I could not unsee his thick cock slipping in and out between her red lips, his buttocks flexing with each strong thrust, defined muscles of his back straining as he was hovering over her, and his messy red head and his sweaty forehead pressed to hers. And his big, wide, smug, disgusting smile.

"You're… ah!... such an _idiot_ , Asra,” he spoke suddenly. “Mmm… Instead of wandering… ah! G-gods know where… you should've just stayed and… Ohh, god… and just make her happy. Oh, 'cause she can make a man _so_ happy back, too, _believe me_ ," he finished with a chuckle, and turned all of his attention back to her, as she cupped his cheeks and brought his face down for a passionate kiss.

I’d had enough. I was harassed and broken, and I wanted it over. My body finally listened to me, and I bent in half, squeezing my eyes shut, pressing hands to my ears and screaming for this torture to be over!

Suddenly, everything went silent. I dared to take my hands from my ears - their maddening sounds were gone. I opened my eyes tentatively and all I saw was darkness. I straightened up and looked around slowly. I was kneeling on my bed, in my bedroom, in the palace. It was the middle of the night, and it was just a dream. Just a nightmare...

I got off the bed on soft legs and went to the window. I was dripping with sweat. My face was wet from tears. I was panting and my whole body, my every muscle was shuddering. My cock was painfully hard and it took all the strength I had left not to touch it. I couldn’t touch myself. Not to what I’d seen.

I opened the window and let the cool wind soothe my tortured body and mind. I raised my shaking hands to my face and wiped away the drying tears and wet hair stuck to my forehead and cheeks. I drew and let out a long, trembling breath, struggling to calm down.

It was just a dream, I kept repeating to myself. Just a dream. Just a dream. Just a dream… The only problem was that even though it was just a dream, it didn’t mean it wasn't real. It very much was. Like my pain. Or their love. Or the fact that my dearest one wasn't mine anymore.


End file.
